by Joannie Watson | February 14, 2025 1:00 am
Regardless of your vocation, Valentine’s Day is a reminder for us that we are called to love with a much deeper love.
Our culture loves to make up fake holidays. National Hot Dog Day, National Get Out Your Guitar Day, World Nutella Day … every food, occupation, habit, or weird hobby has a day. Perhaps some people would throw Valentine’s Day in that mix. And frankly, I wouldn’t blame them. (I’ve long been known as someone who has little time for Valentine’s Day.)
I have no problems with dear St. Valentine. Any of them, for that matter. At least three different Saint Valentines, all of them martyrs, are mentioned in the early martyrologies under date of February 14th. One was a priest in Rome, one was a bishop in Terni, and one was martyred in Africa, but we know nothing else about him.
The priest Valentine was beaten and beheaded on February 14, 270 and buried outside Rome, where a basilica was later built. His relics were eventually transferred in the 13th century to the basilica of Santa Prassede in Rome, where they remain today. There are also nine other churches that claim to have the relics of St. Valentine… And hey, since there were three, maybe they all do.
There has been several attempts over the years to try to connect the feast day to the celebration of Valentine’s Day that we know today – sending notes and cards, giving flowers and chocolates. For example, some will point out that St. Valentine (the priest or the bishop) married couples in secret. While this is true (since Christianity was illegal, all sacraments would have been done in secret), it doesn’t have a direct relation to our celebrations today.
The custom of sending love notes we can trace to the Middle Ages. During this time, the calendar was marked by the feasts of the saints and the celebrations of the Church. For example, they spoke of the seasons following “Candlemas” (February 2) or “Michaelmas” (September 29). The culture measured and spoke about time by the liturgical calendar. So when Chaucer writes about couples sending letters on St. Valentine’s feast, it is not necessarily because of anything the saint did. It is because it is the time of year birds start to mate.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
But what can we learn from this?
First, there are many things in our culture that have roots in Christian culture. Even if this day is not directly related to something Valentine himself necessarily did, we at one point lived in a society and culture that marked time liturgically. How can we emulate this in our families and homes?
Secondly, I read an article debunking the Christian roots of Valentine’s Day that asserted, “St. Valentine was no lover or patron of love.” Well, that’s just false. Even if we don’t know if St. Valentine passed notes between two Christian lovers in prison, even if the fact that he married couples in secret isn’t exactly why today you buy roses for your wife – that doesn’t mean he was no lover or patron of love.
In fact, all three Valentines were lovers. Because they were martyrs. “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
They loved Christ more than this world. “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?” (Romans 8:35)
And they were willing to die for Him. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
Valentine’s Day was a hard day for me for many years because I thought I didn’t have a Valentine. There’s a reason it’s jokingly called “Single Awareness Day.” My singleness was often a cross, but that cross seemed to get heavier and lonelier on February 14.
But I was loved and I am loved. Deeply. Radically.
Regardless of your vocation, Valentine’s Day is a reminder for us that we are called to love with a much deeper love than what the world wants to sell us. And thankfully, we are loved with a much deeper love, too.
Image credit: Photo by Emmanuel Phaeton[1] on Unsplash[2]
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