Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one was had been slapped was hurt but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: Today my best friend slapped me in the face.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning. The friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: Today my best friend saved my life.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him: After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on stone. Why?
The other friend replied: When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness and waters of love can easily wash it away. When someone does something good for us we should engrave it in stone where it can remain for years to come.
From this wonderful tale of two friends we learn how important it is to write our hurts in sand and to carve our benefits in stone.
This is particularly important for women who, by their very nature, tend to be wounded more easily than men. This isn’t to say that men do not get hurt but that the inherent differences between men and women mean that each has a more specific response to experiences than the other. It is the understanding that what makes women unique also makes women vulnerable. Women are made to be channels of love, selflessly given through acts of charity and as givers of life, which inevitably translates into a vulnerability of sorts.
It is never in a woman’s best interest to close herself up or “protect” herself with walls as this diminishes or even takes away her God-given “womanly” traits: her ability to “know” the things of God and man—what John Paul II called her “feminine genius.”
Rather, a woman serves God and herself best when she learns to experience the fullness of life as God intended and learns to write her sorrow in sand and her joy in stone.
Cheryl Dickow is the author of several books including Our Jewish Roots. Her company is www.BezalelBooks.com.